check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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