If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
