I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
