Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
