I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
