when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She even gives head with a lisp.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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