we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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