There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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