I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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