I didn't shave. On purpose
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
