I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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