No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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