just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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