One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
