Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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