Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
