Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it's great music for shaving your balls
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
