if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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