Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
