She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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