There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
