I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just invented taco cereal.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
