I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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