so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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