I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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