he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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