My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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