if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
