he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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