glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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