the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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