Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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