You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
