So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Semen is not good for contacts.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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