I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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