hell yes lets make some ravioli
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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