oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
