I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
