I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
