Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
well you can't waste a boner
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
