I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
