"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
