this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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