Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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