I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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