What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
