I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
