I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
