hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
