I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize