I'm so fucking centered right now
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
