I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
