Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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