I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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