Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
