so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
