hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
