Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
