I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
