I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up