He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
