WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
